i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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