SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
