i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
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Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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