you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize