I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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