babies were throwing up all over the place
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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