It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
