Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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