you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
