pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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