Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
