Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
