so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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