One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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