She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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