ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Randomize
