things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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