girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
