I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
