Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
