Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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