once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
