What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
