i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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