We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
