Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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