I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize