Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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