her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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