girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize