I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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