i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize