I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Text me some of your sweat
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
