Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it hurts more in the daytime
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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