bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
