I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
