Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
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there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.