Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves