I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This toilet bowl is my home.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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