Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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