You're completely useless in the revolution.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
