I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
