Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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