don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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