Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You did what with his pubic hair?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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