watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
