i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize