I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
