Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
