i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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