Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You ruined the universe
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
