butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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