whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
