they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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