If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
