no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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