You're completely useless in the revolution.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She even gives head with a lisp.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
