I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
