i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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