my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize