Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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