i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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